You make my head spin

I needed someone
No
I needed you
With your deflective ways and brutal honesty

But I didn’t expect you would talk to me after all this time
After all I did

I really wish things could have been different

I wish I could see you
Even if it was just for one last time

Every time I see your name it makes me feel alive again, but I still don’t know if I can trust you

I wish I could be who I want to be
Stop feeling like I’ve let myself down and turned into someone I hate
Someone you would find unattractive

I would give anything to not have to hide and be open about everything

Every day I wonder if you like those girls because of me
I wonder if you are trying to live vicariously

Because you couldn’t fix me

I wish you had

I wish you had had me

I wish I had told you how I felt before it became too late

I really wish things could be different
Had been different

I feel so alone