Again its friday, and the boyfriend has gone for ‘one drink’ after work 4 fucking hours ago.. he is ment to be taking me out for dinner, its our anniversary, and tonight he is drinking in fucking london, tomorrow i have to go to his friends fucking house warming..
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.
Jesus fucking criste…
I will not txt him… but fucking hell i feel like a fucking house wife.
fuckfuckfuuuccckk
Sorry about all the fucks.. but god dam I cannot be dealing with this convenience girlfriend shit anymore…
Tomorrow…. ment to be going for a date at the beach… are we??
ARE WE FUCK.
After him lying to me about going away for a week. `If he goes to that shitting festival which he cannot afford without telling me again… I will be off to the shop… buying boxes of wine and boxes for packing and moving my stuff out.
I am so angry… but a tad upset that he doesn’t even realise he is being so selfish.
JESUS
]

I didn’t think I could thank you any more for the way you have acted so selflessly over the past 3 weeks. Having just returned to our flat after 2 weeks, it turns out I was wrong.

So, in case you don’t contact me again for another 3 weeks I just need to thank you for:

1. Leaving the toilet seat up with your pubes ingrained in your dried piss around the basin

2. Turning the photos of us together in New York back to front

3. Leaving mouldy food in the fridge

4. Breaking my heart

Dear husband,

I love you, very dearly. But please! You gave me herpes!! And I wouldnt mind but you dont get symptoms and I do!!!
IT HURTS!!! I want to use the loo, but hurts too much to go!
So I just want to say F*CK YOU for giving me this YOU JERK!!!

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Dear Whomever,

The other day, I was in my room minding my own business, sitting in front of my laptop with my music on loud when my dad barges in. He only ever comes in my room when he wants me to do something online for him because he doesn’t know how to use a computer. This case was no different except he was practically barking for me to turn my music off and that he didn’t want to hear it. Okay, I get that you can’t concentrate with music blasting in your ears but since you wanted my help with something, isn’t it common sense not to piss off the person you need help from?

Anyway, I give him a snide remark and he up and stomps out of the room, angry. I don’t really have a problem with what I did because he really was being quite rude and it’s common knowledge among my mom and brothers and I that our dad is very childish and thinks only of himself most of the time. I’m just really bothered that I’m still so mad about it.

Hopefully I can stop thinking about it now.

I think I love you, friend of mine.
I do believe my hearts entwined.
I think of you most of the time.
When we are apart my heart it pines.
Your voice it makes me smile.
I love who you are.
I wish I could be what you need.
But alas, I am so far.
Tis sad that I has no car.
I\’d drive all day to be with you.
I\’d like to take you to Windsor Zoo.
But alas, we will never be.
As you can do so much better then me.

My aunt died yesterday so I’m quite down from that reason I guess but things just seem to be getting shitter and shitter. I don’t even think my life is that shit really, it just FEELS extremely shit. I have a good job (although it’s not what I want to do- it’s evil marketing), a lovely boyfriend, a family who generally get on and would help me if they knew I was so blue, but I don’t want to tell them.

I won’t kill myself because I couldn’t do it to my mum but I just wish I could. I so wish I could disappear and feel nothing ever again. I don’t believe in god and I couldn’t even try. I have the urge to hurt myself but I wont because I don’t want to ‘cry for help’. I sound like a spoiled brat who people might tell to ’shit or get off the pot’ but that’s how I feel, neither here nor there. I want to go somewhere and wail privately but there is nowhere private to go. I feel guilty all the time that I am not good enough, kind enough hard working enough, visit my mum enough, keep in touch with my friends enough. I am such a space waster. I know people love me which makes it even harder because I just don’t know why I should feel so shit when my life is really somewhere between ok and very good. I feel awful and I just want to die. No one has the slightest clue that I feel this way. I know I’m not special in feeling this way which makes me feel lime I’m wasting my time even telling myself how bad I feel. What a sad pointless contradictory person I am

I dont actually know how to word what is wrong with me. I will list it.
1. Im a teenage girl, there is enough problems there is there not? I have to go through college with all the two faced, immature girls, the boys who mess girls around, silly little rumors, the stupid popularity groups.. I am mentally more mature then the kids at school because of my past, so college is a barrel of laughs for me.
2. I am ill. Not ill as in a cold. As in ill for the rest of my life. I have hyper-mobility syndrome, irritable bowl syndrome and kidney issues. The amount of tablets I have to take for it all is stupid.
3. My family, well my family don’t help, they argue, and drag me into it. They ditch me with there children when they fall out with each other, because they cant handle the pressure of their own child. But me, a teenage girl can?
4. I have 3 jobs and college and to look after children. Im 16 years old. Its hard! And i get no support from anyone.
I dont have time for a normal life. I dont have time to party or to have a boyfriend, or go out shopping with friends. I have to look after every one before my self. And somehow I am in the popular group at college. I hate it! they are all so vain, and they never ask me how I am! Non of my friends know whats wrong with me, i just sit there and look pretty at college. So, yeah, rant over. Sorry..

I am still a virgin and feeling pathetic. Women imtimidate me and now I’ve reached an age where I can never admit to being a virgin, although people must probably suspect. Seeing an escort seems my only option.

you were so fucking out of order today. we’ll all forgive you of course because we adore you and you had a horrible few days - but really, that was Shit.