So, we went on a date and you decided you didn’t like me. It happens. But you DO NOT exchange several text messages, say explicitly that you’d like to go on a second date and then just vanish off the face of the earth! Why the heck couldn’t you have had the guts to text me saying you weren’t interested?! After all- I had the guts to ask you out. You could even have made up some lame excuse as to why you weren’t interested! Even that would be an improvement! But no… you have to go silent and leave me here hanging on a cliff of uncertainty.

It’s always the same- men have to do all the work and women can get away with behaving however they want because men are supposed to just “put up with it be man”. Life must be so easy when you are an attractive women. No wander so many of them become bitches.

Mind you, there’s a category of confident arrogant men who are pretty much the same. I wish they’d all f**king get some STD and die.

You have never known and will never know how I feel. Even whispering it into the wind will forever tear us apart. Because what I feel for you, you will never understand. No one really does.
I have loved you since we were children. I have loved you even before I realized what the feeling was. And although you say you love me, the fact is that what I feel for you is very different.
The happiest day of my life was when I woke up and found you unexpectedly next to me, just napping away. I wished that moment would last forever. But I knew it would never happen again.
The day I knew I would never be with you was when you moved on with your life and started a family. I cried so hard that day. and no one understood why. But of course they wouldnt because for me it meant that I had to leave you alone. Its why I cant be near you anymore (especially these last two years). It hurts too much to be near you and not be able to be how we used to be. To have that same closeness.
You will forever be my first love, my oldest love. And I realize now that no matter how far I get from you, no matter where I move, it will never go away.
I love you. Im in love with you. And you will continue to be blissfully oblivious to it for the rest of our lives.

From me.

Your biological clock may be ticking, but mine is irreversibly broken. Just because Im a girl that doesnt mean I want to be popping out a little demon child of yours.
I love you, but I cant give you that.

Sincerely,
The person you have been waiting for all your life.

Dear whoeverreadsthis,

Hi. I miss Europe. I miss home. I miss my dad. I miss my language. I miss the food, the smell, the sight, my friends, my old school, the buildings, even the small fights I used to have with everyone. I regret that I never went to France or Swizerland, they were only minutes away with a plane. I regret I never went to other cities in my own country. I am not sad here, I am doing great at school and the people are very polite but I do not have any friends I can actually talk to. I cannot keep in contact with people back home because, well, they simply are not really internet people. Melbourne is awesome, it was voted the most livable city in the world for crying out loud and it IS AMAZING. But it’s just not the same. It’s hard not being able to speak really fast and with emotion in your own language and have people understand you and reply to you.
I promise to you, whoever you are, that I will do my best to achieve something and make my parents proud. I will pay them back for all the effort and money they put to bring me here. Mom, keep strong, we can make it.

And one thing I want to do most of all is catch a plane back home, run to my dad’s arms and say that I missed him, crying like a freaking 3 year old.
Mamma, papà, vi voglio bene. Σας αγαπαω. I love you.

why is everything in my life such an actual fail. nothing ever goes right, everyday of my life im faced with different people who just constantly have there little digs at me and get under my skin. even my ‘bestfriend’ i hate her. thinks shes something shes not, urg. and the lads i chose to like, let you down constantly either telling everyone everything you say to them.cant even say ‘i love you’ to a potentiall boyfriend without it getting spread around everywhere. and they all turn out to be something you thought they wernt, its so annoying. seriously. and im so stressed GCSE’s dont help, getting my blackberry stolen and the constant obsession with losing weight i am sick of everything!

I see you every day and my heart skips a beat each time. I wish I was brave enough to ask you out.

I get that you don’t like the way I choose to live my life. So I like a smoke, it’s not like I’m robbing you to pay for it. A bit of wind and the smells soon gone so whats the harm really?

Perhaps you shouldn’t believe all you read in the daily mail.

For goodness’ sake, write me my references, PLEASE! I can’t send off my uni applications until you send them to me and the later I leave it the less likely I am to get a place!
If I can’t start in september this year I will have to stay living at home in my rubbish town and I will get depressed, so please write me a reference it won’t take long! I was a good student and a hard worker, I know that, you know that but all the universities I am applying to don’t know that so TELL THEM! Please?

sometimes i may appear bitter and jealous towards you all. And to be honest i am.
Everyone else is moving on with their life, their hopes, their dreams, finding the one they love.
Me? Im trapped in this body. This body that controls me, not the other way round. Physical pain is high. Brain fog destroys my chances of conversing with anyone i dont know.
Instead of having a life, i sit here waiting for you all to get in touch with me, i cant go out and drink like all of you, my body wont allow it.
So i sit here alone, waiting, hoping you\\\’ll all come and see me.

But why would you, you dont understand, you think if i tried hard enough i could do what you do.

Its hurting my wrist just to type this. The pain varies, i know sometimes you see me out walking and i can see what your thiking, there is nothing wrong you can walk. You only see me when i can, you dont see me when im in so much pain.

One of you told me you loved me and never loved anyone else. Despite this at the first sign of my health going downhill you ran. And then paraded all the new ones you were in love with before me. Funny thing is im not jealous of them, im jealous of you. Enjoying life to the full, even if that does mean a bit of womanising. Never looking back or forward, living in the now without a worry.

Living with M.E isnt easy, there isnt just the physical and mental aspect there is the social. Its isolating. Watching everyone pass by and leave you behind one at a time…

Of course im jealous why wouldnt i be?

I MISS YOU
so much