You’ll go for weeks, months even, without speaking to me, and then suddenly announce that you miss me and want to meet up. Even when we do see each other you ignore me for your friends that you see every day.

I remember when we were making plans. We wanted to travel together, to see places and experience the world. They’ve all gone now, I can tell. Even if you half-heartedly mention them in conversation, it’s as if you’re letting them go and saying goodbye. I can’t just do that with you, and it really irritates me.

We’re so different, as well. Yes, we watch the same TV shows, like Studio Ghibli movies, but you smoke weed. You get drunk most weekends. You talk about sex like it doesn’t matter at all. I rarely even drink, I’ve never tried drugs and I’ve only had sex once. The thing is, you talk about all this stuff while I’m in the presence of your friends, then it all falls away when we’re alone. You’re the sweet, caring person I met two and a half years ago. Everyone changes, I know that. But you’re too much for me to deal with.

I love you. I’m not in love with you, but I love you nonetheless. And that’s why I can’t walk away from you, and why I’ll always smile when you say my name in that way that makes your dimples come out.

I’ll carry on without you. I have to.

You keep going out with assholes, and then you cry on my shoulder.

You could tell these guys have no respect for women at first sight, but you deliberately choose them.

Then, they cheat on you, and you are so surprised. And every single time, I must be here for you. I listen to you explaining your \\”love\\” affairs, as well as your sex affairs, and complaining on how unfortunate you are, while I have been single all my life, but you never care about me.

Just open your eyes, and dump those jerks, and either stay fucking alone, or find yourself a nice guy.

Sincerely, your best friend.

I may not be sad, but I’m certainly unhappy

I needed someone
No
I needed you
With your deflective ways and brutal honesty

But I didn’t expect you would talk to me after all this time
After all I did

I really wish things could have been different

I wish I could see you
Even if it was just for one last time

Every time I see your name it makes me feel alive again, but I still don’t know if I can trust you

I wish I could be who I want to be
Stop feeling like I’ve let myself down and turned into someone I hate
Someone you would find unattractive

I would give anything to not have to hide and be open about everything

Every day I wonder if you like those girls because of me
I wonder if you are trying to live vicariously

Because you couldn’t fix me

I wish you had

I wish you had had me

I wish I had told you how I felt before it became too late

I really wish things could be different
Had been different

I feel so alone

I think I lov[ed] you