Why does your firewall block all the best sites?!
Surley you don’t expect me to earn my wages??

Hope you enjoyed your holiday; you’ll be really pissed to know that we’ve managed to avoid tons of work in your absence, whilst still managing to give the impression we’ve been rushed off our feet
kind regards
Your lazy team
ps
Don’t rush back

It’s was lovely to come home to find you pruning all my tree’s; it’s needed doing for a long time.
What a shame you are in the wrong garden, you should be three gardens down.
But thanks for the freebie mate, you did a great job!